The Power of a Short Memory
In sports, sales, and life in general, it pays to have a short memory.
Now that’s not the whole story. There are times when remembering can be useful. But by contrast, that short memory allows us to be present to what’s in front of us.
In sports, there are plenty of opportunities to rise or fall to the situation. Batters strike out. Golfers miss a putt or dump a ball in the water.
In life, salesmen get a ‘no’ and then another ‘no’. Potential suitors get a decline. Recipes turn out inedible. Competition ends in a loss.
What to do? Ruminate over one’s nonperformance? Overgeneralize about how incompetent one is (and will be forever) and get resigned? While a possible path to take, there’s neither satisfaction nor value at the end of that road.
Other things are possible when we are present. A chance to stay connected to what’s going on around us, what matters to us, and what’s happening next. Perhaps a moment to reflect on what just happened and why. Even an opportunity to be curious about what to learn, speculate on, and plan what we will do differently to get better results.
In grad school, I invited my classmates, about two dozen of them, over for Christmas chili. Wanting to impress, I decided to use dried beans in the recipe for the first time. (Yes, I know that for chili purists, there is no such thing as chili with beans.). Following the directions and soaking the beans overnight, I then put together a big pot of killer chili. When I tasted for seasonings, however, I found the beans hard as pebbles.
After a moment of cursing my stupidity, I then created and enacted a recovery plan. It took me the next two hours to handpick and discard all the beans from the chili. I then added canned beans, adjusted for taste, and fired it up for the crowd. With salad and cornbread and beer, there was nothing left but full stomachs, dirty dishes, and accolades. And I told my harrowing story to them for holiday entertainment.
Beyond mindful reflection and thinking, our being present can become an opportunity to recenter and reorient to what we need to do next. To let our talents and skills express themselves the next time. Ready to field your position? Ready to settle in and hit that next shot pure? Ready to listen well, be curious, and connect for the sake of serving that potential customer well? You can’t do more than that – getting yourself out of the way so you can be your best self. Remember the things worth remembering. Remember to let go of the rest.
What lightens our load? Our capacity to reflect and be self-aware provides access to greater effectiveness. Developing a growth mindset and the ability to reframe situations can enhance the quality of our journey. Becoming emotionally agile (and there are plenty of excellent ‘how to’ books to support our learning) can be the proof of our development. And if we haven’t yet, we can learn when (and what) to forget and remember. The next opportunity is almost here. Batter up.
What reflections does this provoke? What new perspective becomes available? What worlds open up? Please share and add to our wisdom. These are the gifts that keep on giving and it is the season.
#selfleadership #designyourlife #emotionalagility #resilience