Connected. But FTSOW?
One of the many things that became apparent during the heat of the pandemic and work from home (WFH) was the growing sense of isolation, disconnection and disaffection. Well beyond the general disruption, we became painfully aware of the relevance and value of being/feeling connected with others.
The disruption underscored for many (who worked away from home) aspects of daily living that were taken for granted and assumed to continue forever – until they didn’t. Then, we were confronted with a figure/ground reversal. What had been in the background was now starkly in the foreground, because of its absence. Its absence created stress and consternation and a flood of questions and concerns and attempts at adaptive behavior.
In the US and elsewhere, as the percentage of vaccinated population continues to rise, people in power are making new declarations about what social behavior is now permissible and under what circumstances. Whether we have a way of labeling the ‘new normal’ or ‘next normal’, we are challenged to think through what that will look like: the rules, policies (and rationale), and practices for working from location. We have already demonstrated that in many industries and jobs, we can do the work from home, sometimes even more productively. Yet, there have been revealed and concealed costs of such an arrangement, and more to learn about. We are stepping into the unknown and clutching an old playbook and hoping for the best seems woefully insufficient.
I pray that leaders will take an inclusive and deep listening approach for what might work best in their situation, holding such a formulation as a (small, safe-to-fail) experiment to run (per one of David Snowden’s approaches to navigating in complex contexts). With all the design thinking and design possibilities, it’s also worthwhile to take a step back/up, onto the balcony, to get a new perspective of our working/living spaces, what we intend to realize consistent with our values and purpose, and what shapes that might take. Since we recognize the importance of connection with others, how can we now intentionally design our spaces, practices, and interactions to ensure it happens and well? And why are we doing it in the first place? In other words, FTSOW – for the sake of what?
From what I’ve read in the business literature, had conversations with colleagues, family and friends, and reflected on the topic, connection seems to have a number of benefits that accrue to it (though probably not an exhaustive list): a felt sense of belonging, stability, safety and efficacy. Along the way, it also reduces stress, related to the listed benefits. The benefits support the lower levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as well as two of the three intrinsic motivator dimensions identified in self-determination theory. Can organizations become the thoughtful ‘easy button’ that fosters both structured and unstructured connection to enable cohesion, coordination, production, and inclusive culture (regardless of where the work is done)? It will require dialog and listening, perspective shifting, priority and resource allocation setting, and adaptive adjusting of practices.
An executive client of mine, Gregory, found that with the disruption, old ways of operating, thinking and expecting could no longer be counted on to deliver desired results and relationships. He recognized this as a time to pause, reflect, confirm what mattered most, and consciously design the new ways that would be needed. There were conversations to have, listening and questioning to do, shared perspectives to co-develop, tentative formulations to stress test and learn from. He and his colleagues needed to lead while not knowing, encouraging things to emerge and having the courage to enable the journey. He is in the midst of this process. Along the way, he is practicing modeling realistic optimism, being resilient in the face of setbacks, learning from everything, and reframing situations to reaffirm the path ahead.
While much of my situation didn’t significantly change during the pandemic (I already worked from home), I have challenged myself recently to intentionally connect well during every interaction and to leave the other person better off (happier, supported, affirmed or the like). I have to be present and open to make this happen; it’s something I have to consciously generate. I have discovered it affirms me too. This developmental intention of exercising at my ‘connection gym’ regularly is a worthy investment, in my opinion.
As we as individuals look to ensure greater connection with others, we may also turn our attention inwards. By reflecting and connecting to our values, purpose and priorities, we shape where we put our attention and to what end. What do we want to accomplish by connecting? Are we looking to create or deepen relationships? Identify and appreciate meaningful differences? Create shared perspective? Co-develop a committed platform for collaboration and partnership?
How are you playing? What are you discovering? How is the quality of your life affected? Do share. There’s lots to learn with each other.
#selfleadership #designyourlife #connection