Musings on Meaningful Lyrics
Last Saturday I was driving to St. John, Indiana, to meet my friends Richard and John for our monthly in-person breakfast chew and chat, a chance for guys to hang out and catch up. I had my country and western station on and Gary Allan’s 2005 song, “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful,” was playing. I found the tune poignant, its simple lyrics compelling and the refrain haunting and ringing so true: “Struggles make us stronger. And changes make us wise. And happiness has its own way of takin’ its sweet time.” Over breakfast, I shared the refrain and we talked about it and what it meant to each of us.
The next morning, I was on a zoom call with colleague Su in Nairobi to discuss the opportunity of applying for a CK Prahalad Award for her extraordinary business, iCow. In context, it again seemed appropriate to share the lyric and she was similarly moved; we mused on its personal implications. Yesterday I had a zoom call with colleague and friend Joe about work we are doing and an opportunity to bring to our Ready for Next colleagues about the value of leadership coaching. Again, for the sake of the impact we can have on owners who intend to develop their businesses as transition-ready, the refrain was on point. We tied it back to the ancient works of the Stoics. Later that day, I even offered the topic to Institute of Coaching Fellows for an upcoming weekly huddle discussion.
What’s going on? Why did this strike me so profoundly, even bringing tears to my eyes?
I guess that it resonates with my own struggles, as well as those acknowledged by my friends, family members and clients. We’ve all heard the adages, “In life, pain is a given but suffering is optional,” and “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” and even “Our wounds give us wisdom.”
As meaning-making beings, we seek to understand and make sense of things. Our brains are designed to try to predict the future, an evolutionary expression for better budgeting our body’s biological resources. It’s easier to do when life is regular, stable and anticipatable. In some domains, that is less and less the case. Though we prefer an interpretation of coherence, what we often get is mystery. Amidst all of this, we learn to create personal narratives and tell them to ourselves (and others) as a way of making sense.
We seem to have expectations about how life should look – the operative word is “should.” We have our preferences and then there is reality, how life is and what we actually have to engage and cope with. Our preferentially tinged stories often make the mountain trail we traverse much steeper than necessary. Our stories are constructions of our making. They are potentially changeable, if and when we recognize and act on the opportunity.
In my view, self-awareness is the access to seeing and interpreting the world differently. There are many paths to triggering that access. Whatever jostles us into a new perspective, including our assessment about the way it is and curiosity about how it could be, can create agency, an opening for looking further, seeking a possible better future. However, it does require that we do something different, not simply think or complain about things. As the saying goes, “Have faith but tether your camel first, for Allah has no other hands but yours.”
In this most recent circumstance, it was song lyrics that stirred me. They provoked me to reflect and then share my curiosity and story with others, provoking them too. I chose them as a conscious excuse to move beyond my habits, to extend and connect, be seen and known newly.
What are the kinds of things that shake you and what do you do (with them or about them)? Even at an intuitive level, what are you willing to risk for the sake of learning and better, without guarantees of success? Your familiar point of view? Your identity as you and others know it? Your comfort in a known relationship? These seem to be some of our learning edges, a mysterious boundary between known and unknown, where prediction is a questionable proposition. As such, they invite our courage and brave heart and resilience for the longer journey of discovery.
Gary concludes his song with the words, “No, life ain’t always beautiful but I know I’ll be fine. Hey, life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride. What a beautiful ride.”
What do you say “yes” to as an expression of care for self, others and even the world? I’d love to know if you’d like to share.
#selfleadership #designyourlife #courage #contribution