Mindset as a Superpower
A funny thing happened on the way to writing this week’s blog. On Monday I read two newsletter items – one written by Seth Godin, the other by Liane Davey. Each of them had something to say about one’s perspective, mindset, and the implications that tag along.
Seth’s daily blog was about what went with being optimistic (or pessimistic). He viewed them as tools that (for optimism) created a mood that helped one solve problems more effectively. On the other hand, pessimism at least could be used constructively for budgeting, scheduling, and the like. As he says,
“As a universal default, either mood will certainly lead to misguided energy and poor decisions. But if we can be thoughtful about optimism as a tactic, the focus, and energy it brings can solve problems that others might simply walk away from.”
Liane talked about the downside of telling generational jokes. What she was really talking about was the “lazy reliance on stereotypes”. They tend to have an adverse impact on one’s expectations, behaviors, and influence on others – a self-fulfilling prophecy. Doubly disabling when the stereotypes are inaccurate to begin with. This is consistent with Livingston’s research and classic Harvard Business Review article, Pygmalion in Management.
Mindset matters. It frames our sense-making, where we look for information, what we view as relevant, and (more) important. It either expands or contracts our horizon of possibility, influencing how persistent we will be in pursuit of our goal. Our narrative, especially the story we tell ourselves, is the glue that holds together our coherent understanding of how things are and can be. It is only with mindful appreciation (self-awareness) that we can see our own hand in authoring that point of view and perhaps choose a different perspective (self-management).
A client of mine (Wendy, not her real name) shared an interaction with one of her direct reports (Veronika, not her real name) that illustrated this mindful approach.
During a heated discussion about fair compensation, Wendy recognized how she was being triggered, chose not to react in an emotional kind, and responded with her understanding of the argument, the facts, and her conclusion. She also supported a possible escalation conversation for her subordinate with her manager about the subject. Afterward, she emailed her manager to update him on the situation and forewarn the possible conversation. She also emailed Veronika to recap what had been said and even offer a possible consideration of alternative approaches to address her issue. Both communications were thoughtful and intended to support the larger concerns of all parties.
At every point, Wendy was monitoring and managing her emotional reactions, making the best conversational choices, and attempting to create win-win scenarios. As she mused, “I was self-aware five years ago or even two years ago. What mattered more was that I didn’t care about the consequences of exploding emotionally. Now I do and I’m able to do something about it.”
What’s your mindset? What’s your story – about who you are, your relationship to others and the world, and what’s possible? With that story as a backdrop, are you a victim or a player? Is there anything that you could author differently? Better? I’d love to hear whatever you have to share. Let’s talk.
#selfauthorship #designyourlife #mindset