Making Progress, Affirming the Journey
From my brief read of the extensive research done on self-determination theory (SDT), humans have three primary intrinsic motivators: autonomy, belonging, and competence. We seem to continue to engage in activities that resonate with (often at least two of) these dynamics.
Over the past few months, I have taken the opportunity of the winter season to reflect on this, for myself and for my coaching clients. In my personal/professional life, I discovered a number of instances where something meaningful and interesting was happening.
The backdrop is that for any behavioral change to be sustained, shifts need to be made in all four of these domains: mindset, attitude/mood, behavior, and story.
My approach is to view my life and experiences as an ongoing learning lab. It offers a chance to learn, up my game, and formulate working hypotheses about how things work, then to test them for feasibility/workability in my life and that of my clients.
Here’s the seemingly trivial yet meaningful example. Historically, I have not excelled in successfully completing home improvement projects. I hear about others who fix things, design and build things, and keep their homes functioning. They seem to understand how things work. Me, not so much. That’s been my story and I’ve stuck with it.
My garbage disposal stopped working. Normally, I would call a repair person to make a home visit, diagnose the issue, and fix it. This time, I took a different path. I did research on the internet, had an online chat with a technician, read the recommended instructions on how to revert to working order, and made an online purchase of a tool to get the job done, then drove to the store to pick it up. The next morning, I opened the package and tried the tool per the instructions. It fit and worked! Problem solved, function restored.
Elation and pride, and an adjusted personal narrative. I do have some skills I can wield. I can make informed choices, enlist others’ help, and get the job done collaboratively. To do so, I must get past my own considerations, negative chatter, and limiting self-image. I will need to persist, learn, and get smarter (and wiser). By doing this, I extend my competence and expand my autonomy by shifting the ways I engage with and delegate to others. In fact, there are lessons that can inform my client coaching.
In the same two-to-three-week period, I have three more experiences where I pushed the boundaries of whom I knew myself to be, challenging my old narrative through the experiments I ran and the successes I achieved.
My sense of self and where/how I play in the world is expanding. My curiosity about where I can do more of that continues to energize me (sounds like autonomy and competence motivations kicking in). I also wonder how I might use that in my coaching. It becomes an opportunity to experiment with new coaching inquiries and conversational nudges.
I am developing my own informal set of data points for the power of aligning growth mindset, curiosity, courage, and persistence, experiments with new behaviors, and a personal story of growth, ongoing learning, and greater efficacy in a changing world.
What resonates for you? What new perspectives are you taking that open up opportunities and possibilities? What’s your journey like? The view from your most recent scenic overlook?
Please share. Let’s explore and learn together.
#selfleadership #designyourlife #efficacy #competence #autonomy